Have you had a successful life?

I wonder if there’s ever been a more subjective question and by what measure would any of us define success?

Whether or not our lives are successful may not really matter, but I do firmly believe that just about all of us have accomplished great things.

The problem is, we often don’t take the time to recognise the amazing feats we’ve undertaken in just a few short years on this planet.

We’re surrounded by a constant barrage of false idols and impossible-to-reach benchmarks that leave many people, particularly the young, feeling inadequate and unfulfilled.

The key to having a positive image of ourselves relies on us taking stock and having pride in the milestones we’ve reached on our life’s journey.

However humble, our achievements in work, business, family, community, the arts or even sport, are worthy of recognition.

Too often we mistake humility for shyness or fear. We are concerned with what our friends, family or colleagues will say or think if we start boasting about our achievements.

The predicament is acutely felt in Australia where our unhealthy focus on the opinions of others is based on the very real threat of the “tall poppy syndrome”. For those unfamiliar with the term, the “tall poppy syndrome” refers to an Australian historical tendency whereby the populous verbally takes down a fellow citizen who is seen to be getting ahead of the pack.

Whether it takes the form of gossip, rumour, belittlement, ridicule, or criticism, mocking the success of others is an unmistakably base instinct of the human condition.

Unfortunately, the mob will often take great pleasure in putting down the outlier because it is surely easier to mock or criticize than to praise.

Some might say this hostility to success is based on jealousy or fear, while others might actually see value in an enforced humility which serves to equalise society.

Regardless of the merit we place on the importance of an egalitarian cultural heritage, the danger lies in creating a societal preference for mediocrity.

In that, I believe we not only let down ourselves but also our children. We should be striving to be the best we can be and challenging future generations to do the same.

I was raised to believe that if you can’t say something nice about someone, don’t say anything at all.

In that simple phrase lies the secret to how we should conduct and condition ourselves to not be contributors to the tall poppy syndrome.

Conversely, it isn’t wrong to have an opinion or be critical, but we must make our critique constructive, not personal and always given with love and for the betterment of the receiver.

To celebrate our successes, we must ignore the negative voices which surround us every day. Each of us has a great story to tell, and thanks to social media, the world is our audience.

Am I suggesting one should boorishly gloat about every aspect of our lives? Certainly not.

It is possible to be both humble and proud. But we must also remember the positive force of reciprocated love. If we wish to tell our great life stories, we must also be prepared to listen and affirm the accomplishments of our friends, family members and colleagues, and those we come across by chance.

Listen and enjoy the success of others, take pride in their accomplishments and they’ll be sure to take pride in yours.

ANOMI