Praise

We all love praise and we feel great when our achievements are recognised. When we are remembered for a job well done we become motivated and energised to try harder.

But pride can be an addictive emotion.

Not only have many people become accustomed to an expectation of praise, but the “likes”, “shares”, and “comments” of the modern social media age are like little pellets of pride candy which can leave us feeling worthless if our latest post goes unnoticed.

The danger of a pride-fuelled social media addiction is false validation. Images on social media are just images. Your achievements take place in the real world.

But false validation was with us long before social media. Many years ago I began to notice our schools seemed no longer interested in recognising excellence and were deliberately turning away from competition amongst pupils. Student awards started to be given out weekly. By year’s end every class member had received a prize.

We have been setting our children up for failure rather than praising them for genuine achievement. Kids are smart, resilient and more than capable of understanding the best performers deserve the accolades. When a child realises their prize wasn’t particularly special because everybody else got one, it can be crushing to their spirit.  We see the impact of this style of award distribution among the natural gifted, who play down their gifting to be like everyone else.  This is a sad predicament – our gifts are to be admired and used for the good of others and to bring joy.

For many years as a young mum I used to take my son to AFL training. When he was very young every kid in the team got a certificate for playing the season but as the boys grew older only the best players received trophies. At the awards ceremony there were no tears or cries of indignation, just warm applause and pats on the back from the trophy winners’ team mates.

Not only does the “everyone gets a prize” mentality set us up for future disappointment, it greatly devalues the achievements of those who go the extra mile and deserve credit for their accomplishments. Participation prizes and the impact of social media are leading us to expect and seek recognition. The moral risk is that we allow society to validate our self-worth.

Enjoy your accomplishments but don’t expect praise. The challenge for all of us is to recognise that we should place the greatest emphasis on being proud of what we achieve rather than the recognition for what we achieve.  To do something with purpose brings more joy and fulfilment than any number of ‘likes’ on social media.

Take pride in your work, your family and your efforts to do better every day of your life. These humble things are more important than any likes, trophies or certificates you’ll ever receive.

ANOMI